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<title>Operation: Immortal Tree-Huggers by Fangirlshrewt97</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27725081">Operation: Immortal Tree-Huggers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlshrewt97/pseuds/Fangirlshrewt97'>Fangirlshrewt97</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anti-Logging, Attempt at Humor, Banned Together Bingo, Crack, Crack-ish, Gen, Prompt: Anti-Logging, Short One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:23:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27725081</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlshrewt97/pseuds/Fangirlshrewt97</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“No Joe, bombs will not be enough, besides they’ll cause too much debris. It would be easier if we just dismantle the whole thing.”<br/>“How is that the easier option Book?”<br/>“Why can’t we blow up the people themselves? Won’t that resolve the issue?” Quynh asked.<br/>“Because then some other piece of work will rise from the darkness to take over the vacuum.” Andy said.<br/>“Ugh, I miss the old days when we could just kill people and get away with it.” Quynh said.<br/>Nile rounded the corner on the living room to see the rest of her family scattered around some maps on the dining table.<br/>“Hey, guy…what are we up to?” Nile asked tentatively, eyeing the papers warily.</p><p>Basically, the gang plans how to take down a company trying to deforest the Amazon. </p><p>A fill for the prompt 'Anti-Logging' for Banned Together Bingo 2020.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andy | Andromache &amp; Booker | Sebastien &amp; Nile Freeman &amp; Joe | Yusuf &amp; Nicky | Nicolò &amp; Quynh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Banned Banned Together Bingo 2020, Banned Together Bingo 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Operation: Immortal Tree-Huggers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dear reader,</p><p>My exam today did not go as well as I expected, so this is kind of stress relief for me. It is just something very crack-ish and the prompt was 'Anti-Logging', which is a very weird prompt, so this is what I was able to come up with.<br/>If you like the story at all, please let me know though kudos and comments (which can include keyboard smashes, one word comments, or favorite lines!). All mistakes are mine, this is not beta-read.</p><p>Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, I am just borrowing them temporarily.</p><p>Enjoy,</p><p>Fangirlshrewt97</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"More bombs!” came the shout from Joe as Nile entered the safehouse. She had been on her morning run along Ipanema beach. They had been told by Copley to stay in Rio for a couple weeks, and relax. Nile had used the time to restart her morning runs, and ended up fallen in love with watching the sun rise across the glittering sea as the city slowly awoke.</p><p>“No Joe, bombs will not be enough, besides they’ll cause too much debris. It would be easier if we just dismantle the whole thing.”</p><p>“How is that the easier option Book?”</p><p>“Why can’t we blow up the people themselves? Won’t that resolve the issue?” Quynh asked.</p><p>“Because then some other piece of work will rise from the darkness to take over the vacuum.” Andy said.</p><p>“Ugh, I miss the old days when we could just kill people and get away with it.” Quynh said.</p><p>Nile rounded the corner on the living room to see the rest of her family scattered around some maps on the dining table.</p><p>“Hey, guy…what are we up to?” Nile asked tentatively, eyeing the papers warily.</p><p>“You!” Joe shouted, spinning on his feet and pointing at her, causing Nile to freeze in her tracks. “Nile, you agree that the best way to get rid of bad people is to take them out right?”</p><p>“What?” Nile asked weakly.</p><p>“Leave Nile alone Joe, you cannot ask her to side with you when she doesn’t have the full picture.” Nicky said, speaking up from where he was sitting down at the dining table, sipping a cup of coffee.</p><p>“Habibi…” Joe whined.</p><p>“Someone want to explain what is going on here?” Nile asked, desperate for answers but also dreading them.</p><p>Booker was the one who spoke up from where he had been braced against the table, eyes still scanning the papers. “Joe saw a newspaper article that some big Brazilian company has gotten some government deal that is going to let them chop off a good portion of previously protected Amazonian rainforest.”</p><p>“Land that had previously been protected because the indigenous tribes of that land are still living there and appealed to the government to extend its protection over the land permanently!” Joe finished, cutting off Booker, who rolled his eyes in exasperation.</p><p>“Ah.” Nile said, the picture becoming more clear. She moved to lean against the back of the sofa Quynh was currently sitting backwards on, standing next to Andy. “And you are proposing we do what?”</p><p>“Blow up the bulldozers and other machinery.”</p><p>“And Book?”</p><p>“It would be easier, and,” Booker emphasized, “less conspicuous to dismantle the operation from the inside.”</p><p>“How would you do that?”</p><p>Booker shrugged. “A little bit of hacking, a little bit of grifting, end result would be the company deciding to drop the project because it’ll be too expensive.”</p><p>“Who were you saying it would be easier to kill?” Nile asked, twisting to ask Quynh.</p><p>“Any of them.” she replied dryly. “All of them.”</p><p>Nile scrunched her nose.</p><p>“Do you have an idea sorellina?” Nicky asked, eyes taking on a glint of amusement.</p><p>Nile shook her head. “Not yet.”</p><p>Joe and Booker took that as a cue to return to their bickering. Andy sighed and crunched up the wrapper of the pastel she had been eating. “Come along kid, let’s get you some food.”</p><p>“You all ate already?”</p><p>“You went for a long run.” Andy shrugged. She pulled out the remaining paper bag, and held it while Nile washed her hands and face.</p><p>Nile grabbed the offered food after wiping her face, still thinking about the situation as she unwrapped the pastel and took a bite. She let of a faint moan when the cheese flooded her mouth, still warm and gooey. “These are the best after-run food I could ever ask for.”</p><p>Andy smirked at her.</p><p>Just then, the voices from the dining room increased in volume causing the oldest immortal’s shoulders to droop.</p><p>“Come on, we need to deal with this.”</p><p>When they returned to the room, Nicky shot them a pleading look.</p><p>Nile swallowed her mouthful and gave a sharp whistle, quieting the voices of the others.</p><p>“Right,” Nile said, moving to stand beside Booker. She hip checked him with enough force for him to get the hit, and moved from the table. “I think I have a plan.”</p><p>“Oh?” Booker said from where he had moved to lean against the wall behind her. Andy had returned to her place next to Quynh and Joe moved to pull the nearest chair to him, twisting it so he could sit with his chest against the back of it.</p><p>“Booker is right Joe, if we blow up the machinery it will at best cause a delay in the project while they find new replacements, but it won’t get them to drop the project.” Nile said, making the man frown but give a nod in acceptance. “But Joe is also right, Booker you plan won’t work. Projects like this are worth a lot of money, there is no way the company will back away because we hack into their accounts.”</p><p>“So what do you propose?” Nicky asked, leaving his coffee mug on the table as he shifted to see the papers.</p><p>Nile tilted her head. “Well, no idea if it will work, but one thing you can count on capitalists is that they will put profit over everything else, and they will pay off whatever complaint is raised against them.”</p><p>“Right, and?” Andy asked.</p><p>“What if we do a little bit of hacking and grifting but instead of trying to convince them to drop the project, we make them realize there will be more profit if they help protect the land instead?”</p><p>“How could we do that?” Joe said, sitting up in the chair, looking intrigued.</p><p>“We bring this to the attention of the world. Big companies get away with shit like this because they can afford to lobby for the laws that will benefit them. But they are terrified of bad press, because the wrong news getting out could sink their stocks and cost them a lot of money.” Nile said.</p><p>“You think that’ll be enough?”</p><p>“No, but it will be enough to stall. We can go to the Amazon, talk with the tribes there, figure out a better plan.”</p><p>“And if bad press isn’t enough to stop the company?” Joe asked.</p><p>“We become a pain in their butt. We chain ourselves to the trees in protest.” Nile winked at Joe. “And if that still doesn’t deter them, we start blowing up their machines.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you liked the story let me know! If you want to come chat, find me at fangirlshrewt97.tumblr.com .</p></blockquote></div></div>
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